I was lost until I started to do this. . .

Lost

I didn’t know where to start or what to do.

I knew I wanted to be rich and successful. These were my initial thoughts. I thought that is what I wanted and that is what would make me happy. I soon learned I couldn’t be further from the truth.

I thought I would come up with a genius invention and then go on “Shark Tank” make a deal and make millions of dollars.

Well that kind of thinking got me no where!

I went around in circles and never came up with any ideas or did anything besides watch tv, Facebook, listen to music and watch sports.

I was confused as to why I was not moving forward with my life. Why are others getting great jobs, have nice cars, going on amazing trips and I am still stuck doing the same thing?

What do they have that I don’t? “Oh they must be smarter than I am,” I thought. Or they must have rich parents and a wide network of people that they can call who can help them out.

I played the victim. I didn’t know who to talk to or how to get unstuck. I did know I had to do something different if I wanted different results.

It took a while until I started to learn how and why others achieve so much with their lives.

Reading was a crucial ingredient along with many others.

One thing I did have control over was my ability to work hard and invest my time into learning why and how others have been able to reach their goals.

That is what I am determined to deconstruct and help others along the way. I wish someone had written this and gave these starting points for me when I was first getting out of high school. I would be so far ahead by now. Then again, my mentality is so different now than what it was back then.

That is why I want to help you however I can. I may be wrong but I will learn many things along the way and share them with you. Share them here so others may take away from it what they choose.

The one thing I started to do — I started to think about how I spend my time and with WHO I spend my time.

This, I do control. I chose to concentrate on variables I control which changed everything for me.

I read more. About habits, business, routines, systems, abundant mentality, health, psychology, money, and human evolution.

This has impacted every area of my life, from my career to my relationship with my wife.

How did I do this? How do you do this? I can only tell you what has worked for me.

First of all it didn’t happen over night. It has taken me over 18 months to notice any significant change within myself and my mentality.

Patience. Something that I don’t have very much of but I trust in the process so much that I am willing to put my head down and trust that everything will work out and I will be just fine.

I had to change the way I look at money and my goals. Now my goal is not to necessarily be “rich” but to be wealthy with an abundant mentality. To be free with my own time to do as I choose. That is true freedom. To do the work I love to do and do it every day.

Money will come as a side effect of providing value to others. Making money is not the ultimate goal.

Before I thought success looked like a guy driving a really nice brand new expensive car with large chromed out rims, huge mansion, a nice suit and a wad of $100 bills in his pocket.

This vision has changed over the course of the past couple years. A person can have all of these things but not be wealthy because it can all be borrowed.

The thing about these nice physical things is that they give us immediate satisfaction. Makes us feel good but it is hedonic pleasure.

Instead of chasing the nice cars, big houses, stacks of money, now I chase to knowledge with a curious and growth mindset.

I see purchasing a new Mercedes as a form of buying the trophy. Someone can now borrow the money to finance this nice shiny object and it will give them a sense of status without actually having earned it.

Ego is behind a lot of our behavior and what others think about us. We make sure to show that we are not in poverty or prove that we are financially well off like what have something to prove to others.

Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? I almost stepped into this treadmill. Then I thought, there will always be a bigger house, nicer & newer car. What is the point? Who do I have to impress and why? To boost my ego?

I choose to live a rich life how I decide to live it and design it the way that will make me the happiest and most fulfilled. Highly recommend reading Ramit Sethi‘s blog and book on personal finance. If you put in the work then the results will be sure to follow. Can’t complain if you aren’t doing anything about it.

I choose to live daily the best possible way I know how as of now.

Read what smart people have to say in books and recommendations. Learn as much as I can about myself and question my own behavior and thoughts.

I know that I am wrong about many things. You are too. We all are. Yet our ego doesn’t let us admit it.

It is difficult to ask for help or to do something different.

Your brain doesn’t like change. Change is danger to your brain. What you have been doing all this time is safe and will keep you alive, this is what your brain wants you to believe.

Acknowledging this and then doing something about it can be one of the most powerful things you can do.

Others prefer the head in the sand approach and pretend like there is no problems or issues going on in their lives.

You can try this but ultimately you will be unhappy and feel regret on your deathbed. I tell this to myself all the time.

I’d rather say I tried something new and say I tried it and I didn’t like it rather than wonder what could have happened. We always regret what we didn’t do rather what we did do.

I could write forever about this subject but the one bit of advice that I can give you from what I have learned is that you have to choose to learn on your own.

No one is going to hand you anything. Even if they did you wouldn’t appreciate it or understand it fully because you didn’t go through the adversity to get there.

We have to go through the pain like working out to gain that muscle. We feel sore and that means we tore some muscle. If you aren’t experiencing any type of pain or challenges then you are not moving forward.

The problem with staying stagnant is that even though it may look like your life is the same, over time gravity will push you down. It is inevitable. Read “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy

Don’t expect others to help you or for someone magical to appear and lend you a hand. Not the government, friends, and sometimes even family. This is tough to accept but family wants to keep you safe. There is always risk to anything that is uncomfortable.

We are afraid of what others will think of us. What will our friends say? How will they judge me?

The older I get the less I care what others think about me. I control how I think about myself, yet I respect others and their opinions. I listen and request feedback and if it has merit I will adjust accordingly.

A lot of this is too easy to say but very hard to do. But it can be formed like a habit. Getting in the habit of thinking in a different way.

How did I start to change? I started one day at a time. I envisioned myself 5, 10 years from now. How will my life look like. Even 1 year from now. What will be any different?

Unless I change something then it will remain the same. Am I happy with that? No! Then I have to make that more painful than the pain I will need to endure to break my comfort zone.

Why did I decide to change and learn all of this and take the time to write this?

I want a way to document what I am learning about and at the same time give insight to others on what can be experienced by some when choosing to act in a different manner.

You will be judged. So what? You can’t control that, but you can control how you feel and what you think about.

You are the one stopping yourself of doing more. We all are. That is the true challenge.

That is why self awareness is so important. Highly recommend you watch this. This has been a game change for me these past couple months.

I have learned more about myself by listening, asking others for feedback, and taking different assessments.

This is so valuable for me because now I can go all in on my strengths and have a chance to become great at something. Maybe even achieve Mastery at some point.

Ideas has been a strength of mine and I didn’t even know it. I didn’t exercise my Idea Muscle, as James Altucher describes it.

I plan to double down on my ideas and give them away. I am not worried about money at this point. In order to have a good idea I need to have at least a hundred bad ideas.

Take some risks and challenge yourself. Every day, what can you do today in order to improve yourself 1% ? Who can you talk to you? What book can you read? Google is your friend. We are so lucky that we have the internet at our fingertips. No excuses!

Let me know what you think and always keep improving!

——————-

I will now suggest you read a few books, blogs, and listen to podcasts if any of this peaked your interest.

Books:
Compound Effect
Slight Edge
The Practicing Mind
Strength Finder 2.0
#AskGaryVee- Gary Vaynerchuk

Podcasts:
Tim Ferriss Show
James Altucher Show
Lewis Howes – School of Greatness
Art of Charm

Blogs:
James Altucher
I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi
Gary Vaynerchuk
Tim Ferriss: Fourhourworkweek.com

YouTube Videos that I Highly Recommend:
Seth Godin- Creating Art- Lizard Brain

Tony Robbins w/ Lewis Howes:

Ramit Sethi – Rich Life

Chase Jarvis interviews Tim Ferriss

About the author

Jessi Mendoza

Washington State University Alumni, Financial Services Professional, passionate about Self Development and investing in oneself.

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